The Fugue
Montante found her aboard the train after she was coming back on the second round trip. People around her said she went into a fugue state, that she seemed catatonic, but she knew it was just her TDS acting up. It was common for people to experience an episode after distressing news or moments of stress.
Since then she had holed up in her new room, with Miss Lina leaving meals outside her door and then collecting them a couple hours later.
Her throat was sore, her eyes burned and the skin of her face was painfully dry. She would just look at the ceiling fan going round and round, thinking of this and that, asking herself why she cared so much.
Montante had tried to see her a number of times, but relented when he got no response. No, not true, he would stay outside of her door until he made sure he could hear her slow and labored breathing, then he would leave. “He doesn’t want to deal with another suicide”.
She struggled to make sense of why she cared so much. It wasn’t the shock of the news, or whatever reasoning he might’ve had for doing it. It was the ridiculousness of it all and the theatrics. Monty was right, it was just like him to do this.
So why did she care? And why did she care so much?
This past “mentor” of hers had barely mattered. She barely knew him for 2 years, and he mostly taught her how to conduct boring surveys of people going into the Yosemite-C.
So why did she care? Why care for this old, grumpy man who was drunk half the time she saw him and who had the nerve to call her to another country, away from her work and her life, only to commit suicide as theater. “He probably only did it because he knew I was coming”.
Determined to move on from this chapter, and to not give him the sick satisfaction he so desired, she decided to use the tools from ther practice to leave the mess behind. So she closed her eyes and…tap, tap, tap…it was gone. It was a new day and she didn’t have time to sit around and mope.
Back in Action
She walked down to the first floor and found Miss Lina, the elderly woman who owned the house picking up her plate from the table as Monty continued eating breakfast.
She greeted Natalia and carried on with her day, Monty was dumbstruck.
“I hope you had a good nap”, said Miss Lina.
— I…did?
— You seem well.
Monty had a silly smile on his face. His mountainous figure took up most of the tiny room inbetween the kitchen and the livingroom. The house was quaint and she wasn’t sure about the details of the arrangement. They arrived in the middle of the night and she hadn’t had much interaction with Miss Lina, other than coldly refusing the meals she made for her.
— Sorry, let me help you with this!
— No need, girl. You should get ready instead. It’s your first day of school, remember?
— Ah, no, that’s on Monday…
— What day do you think it is? All that spacing out didn’t do you any favors. You won’t be getting that time back.
— That’s a delicate subject, Nana…
Miss Lina was clearly bothered, and Natalia wasn’t surprised. She knew that out here, TDS wasn’t taken very seriously and someone older like Miss Lina probably viewed it with skepticism. Or so she thought. She then realized it was said as sorrowful advice. “She must be a Returner. 4, 6…8 years?”, Natalia thought. She imagined what it must’ve been like for an older woman like her to wake up after 8 years, in an older, more fragile body.
She decided to focus on the task at hand. Dr. Leon left a final wish for both her and Monty, apart from the binder. Apparently he had been teaching at a local school and he wanted them to continue with his classes, until a replacement was found.
— You don’t have to start today…
— No, I’m ready.
— You don’t even know what subject you’re supposed to be teaching.
— Is it not Psychology?
— Oh no…
It was History, her weakest subject. She started to feel flushed and nervous, but she knew she could get by for the first day if she just studied the material properly.
— Of course…just lend me the syllabus and his class notes. Leon may have been a mess in his personal life, but he was nothing if not organized.
— I don’t know how helpful these will be…
He handed her a binder full of pages in disarray. She tried not to let the anxiety take over and instead laid them all out on the table. She took a step back and allowed her brain to take in the information, then closed her eyes and thought of a familiar place. Her Austin apartment. She didn’t have time, so something familiar would do. She started arranging the concepts and a minute later, opened her eyes to find Monty looking at her sternly with his mouth open.
— Monty: Is this a Continuum thing?
— Natalia: No, just a memory palace. It’s a basic technique along with maximizing throughput for–
— Lina: You’re teaching teenagers, how much talking do you really think you’ll get to do?
She was right, but she didn’t want to mess it up. It was her first day and she needed to set the expectations right, after all.
Arriving at the school
She and Monty took the train together. He was also bound to the dying wish of a man neither one of them remembered fondly, but he fared better, he would be teaching botanics, a subject that was on the brink of being cut, apparently.
The school was much bigger than she had expected. An ex-convent turned into a private school, it was surrounded by trees and full of colonial architecture with big wooden doors. It had clearly come a long way, since there were people working on further restorations all around. — This is it. The Marymount. I will give you a tour after classes are done. I think you’ll enjoy the hidden passageways, even if we can’t go in. — Hidden passageways? — They say they connect to the city center, more than a century old. But that’s just what people like to say.
It was hard to find architecture this old in Austin. Most of the building were modernized, with a small collective working to protect the historical buildings. Her city didn’t appreciate anything that wasn’t from the 30s, it seemed. At least they still had Scholz.
Something else caught her attention.
— I…was not expecting this. — Students? — No…they all look the same age, roughly. — Were you expecting them to be Remainers? — No, well, maybe? I read the statistics. It’s roughly 40/60 in Cuernavaca. — Yes, well…most students here are Returners. I’d say it’s around 20/80.
She could see the discomfort in his face. If the split was different with students than the general population…she wondered where the rest of the students this age were going to school.
— …I imagine you’ll be more at ease here. They try to emulate your teaching style. That’s probably why Leon was brought onboard in the first place. They will appreciate having you here.
She could see the logic. The Coalition had made great strides in reintegrating both camps in Austin, primarily by using an advanced curriculum from the 30s that got everyone up to speed. She wished she had access to that curricula now.
She felt a great distance between them. He didn’t have 10 years of his life missing. She felt a knot in her throat starting to form, so she decided to move on. — N- So where do we register for our class? — M- Here’s your teaching plan.
Natalia felt embarrassed. She was always on top of everything, especially planning a class. Maybe coming here was a mistake.
— M- Are you okay? — N- Of course. — M- I don’t believe you. Come on, talk to me. Aren’t you the therapist? — N- Solving your own issues isn’t as easy…if only I could clone myself. — M- I can’t do a convincing impression of you, but…what would you do if I was struggling instead? — N- I would say that you’re starting a new job in another country after a tragic loss. That this is not the time to be hard on yourself, but rather to be open to new opportunities. — M- That’s a damn good impression of good therapy. For a moment I thought you’d tell me to just swallow some overpriced pills. — N- Haha, no, but some of my colleagues would. I try to start with understanding the root of the problem before trying to solve the symptoms. — M- Good luck here. You’re going to have many symptoms to deal with.
They approached the hallway where they would find their classrooms. It overlooked a large courtyard with a well in the middle and some palm trees on the side. She entered the classroom.
Meeting the Principal
The school was strangely old. They were still using technology from decades ago and were unable to move away from paper. She wondered if the paper supply issues were also present in Cuernavaca.
They moved on to the Principal’s office after a long wait. Natalia’s class was meant to start in 20 minutes but she was still waiting. She would probably arrive late to her first day after all. Monty stayed with her, even though his gardening class was not scheduled until the afternoon.
— M- Strange, huh?
— N- That she said we would only wait for 5 minutes and it’s been 30?
— M- Yes, although I’m not surpised. People don’t see 5 minutes here like they do in Austin.
— N- Then what were you referring to?
— M- Being here again. I haven’t seen you in 15 years…and we’re back at school. Waiting on the Principal like we were…15 again.
— N- It’s only been 5 years for me…
— M- It’s been a long time.
— N- …
— M- How is Austin after all these years?
— N- Very high-paced, is right. The first years were very messy, but we’ve been doing well since then. They finally restored the building in Lavaca.
— M- The chilli place?
— N- Now it’s a salad and chilli place.
— M- Awful. …and how are you in Austin?
— N- Good. I really like my job. I work for Salinka and I’m an L42, so I should be able to make director in 3 years if I get some of my papers approved. I guess now it might be 4 years…
— M- And that means?
— N- Oh, I’m a corporate therapist. I help employees reach their maximum potential. And I do a good job.
— M- So major hustler?
— N- No, I’m actually slacking by some metrics… I’m trying this new approach to TDS that requires a slow pace and taking it easy.
— M- That’s the thing you get where you dissociate because of your time in the Yosemite Continuum?
— N- Yes. Which, you must see a lot of cases, right?
— M- Not that many, no.
— N- But reports in Mexico are just 3/4ths of the ones in Austin!
— M- I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never seen one as bad as yours, at least. Not trying to be critical…
— N- …Were you ever curious?
— M- About the Yosemite C?
— N- Yes. Maybe trying it out, seeing the people there?
— M- You know how I feel about computers. Plus, I never did like the idea. If we were going to improve the environment, we weren’t going to do it by just going to sleep for a couple centuries.
— N- We weren’t just sleeping.
— M- Last I checked, you don’t have any stories to tell about it.
— N- …
— M- Sorry.
— N- It’s fine. I just…you never thought of going to visit me?
— M- …
The Principal comes out. She has big hair and is wearing a lot of jewelry.
— D- Hello, hello. I’m Lomeli Mendez, I run the school here. Sorry you had to wait, there is a lot that needs to happen for 2 new teachers to come in out of the blue. And you know how Leon left us with many plates spinning.
— M and N- …
— D- So you are Montante? Pleasure to have you!
— M- I’ve actually volunteered before, so I know some of the kids from this school. Just not sure who I’ll be getting.
— D- Fantastic! And you…
— N- Natalia Sunday, nice to meet you!
— D- You’re from…Texas?
— N- Yes, Austin in the Republic of Texas. I was taught directly by Leon and I’m excited to continue his work here.
— D- Yes, yes…well, are you qualified to teach Philosophy? I couldn’t find any mention of it in your file.
— N- I took the accelerated program for the Humanities by Berkley two years ago.
— D- Berkley? Oh, you should’ve highlighted that in your resume.
— N- Sorry, it was automated. We use a very specific format.
— D- Of course you do. Well, you should be heading to your class. I trust you are prepared?
— N- Yes, I reviewed the syllabus and prepared with Leon’s notes.
— D- Oh…well, your classroom is down the stairs, across the well, go through the art class and go up the library stairs. And you should be able to see the hallway. 10-A.
— M- Isn’t it faster to…just take a right from this hallway?
— D- Well, yes, but…Natalia should get familiarized with the layout.
— M- A tour might be better, in that case.
— D- A tour? But she’s about to be late! In fact, she’s…1 minute late, now.
— M- Already?!
— N- I’ll see you later, Monty. Nice to meet you, Directora Mendez! I’m going to have to run now!!
She ran and made it 2 minutes late to the class. It really was much faster to just turn right.
The first class
N- Hello students. I am Natalia Sunday. I will be your substitute teacher for today and for the rest of the semester.
Everyone stood up and started chanting in unison, “Hello, miss Natalia.” Then they sat down.
N- As you have likely heard by now, your former professor passed away tragically…
Nobody moved, they didn’t even react. Did they know? This might be easier than she expected.
N- Your syllabus says you were learning about the economy in the pre-fall days.
Not a single voice was heard. She was unsure if her translation box was working properly.
N- You all can hear me, right? I was told it was ok to let you use the translation boxes, or that you all speak English if not…
Some students nodded here and there, so she took it to mean she was good to go. But where should she start? She recalled the images and concepts of the lecture after closing her eyes for a second, and then prepared to start…but there it was. Monty was telling her what had happened to Leon and she started to feel a wave building up inside her.
She realized she was being overcome by the mess again, so she closed her eyes for another moment and…tap, tap, tap. The classroom was merely an assignment now. The students were looking at her in confusion, but she didn’t care. She carried on with the lecture.
Natalia didn’t look at the students. She looked at the dust motes dancing in the shafts of light from the high colonial windows.
N-“The 2030s were a period of great economic development and social unrest that was just as big’” she said, her voice sounding like a recording even to herself. “Some refer to this as The Gilded Age, some others as The Great Decay. We all know what it led to in 2039, but let’s first examine the conditions and situations that lead some to believe this was the greatest decade of the world.”
The lecture continued without a hitch, she was able to deliver the whole plan, remembering each note in the notebook with pinpoint accuracy. Her training had prepared her well. With a confident face, she said
N- That is all. You may leave now.
Just as the analog bell rang.
After the first day
She reconvenes with Monty. They ride the train back.
M- And then they clapped?
N- They did. Apparently I did such a good job, they haven’t had a teacher deliver such a polished lecture.
M- I don’t know, these are highschool students. Did you imagine it?
N- No, they actually went ahead and clapped after I was done!
M- …
M- Well, I’m going to the Hacienda today. You’re welcome to come if you want. I could use your luck.
N- It wasn’t luck, it was preparation.
M- This morning you didn’t even know what topic you were going to teach.
N- And look at me now!
M- I do need to get inside the mind of a delusional man, so maybe you’re the best person for the job…
At the Hacienda
It’s an old building. With plants coming in from the outside. A mix of technology and old architecture.
M- This place is not actually that old. It was built in the 30s.
N- I was just giving a lecture on that.
M- Yeah, what was it about?
N- Regular stuff. I can’t remember.
M- You might want to pay more attention. You’re doing a new thing at a new country. It’s ok if things feel overwhelming. It will take time to adapt, you’re learning.
N- I gues… Where should we go?
M- I found him in a secret room, past his lab.
They go to the basement, where the lab is. It’s full of vials, strange contraptions, plants and machinery.
N- How did you figure it out?
M- Haliatus Mycellium. We were studying the technology together. I realize that this here looks like a breathing conch.
Natalia immediately recognizes the same one.
N- Wait a minute. He gave me something just like that!
M- What?
N- This old book, like a grimoire. It reveals itself when I breathe into the conch.
M- But he wasn’t supposed to have figured it out yet.
N- Let me show it to you when we’re back home.
M- Okay. Let me show you the room past this. Just as the breath conch can be used to create the structures, it can also be destroyed. You just need to put pressure, let go, and press again.
He does this against a wall and it comes undone. Reveals a door. In the next room, there is a chair and many annotations on walls and boards.
M- This is where I found him. I wasn’t sure what he was getting up to, so I said I found him in the main lab. That he was hunched over and that’s why I didn’t find him at first.
N- So that’s why you’re so sure.
M- Nobody could’ve found him here. I thought I was the only one who knew about this technology…I helped make it seem like suicide because I didn’t see any other possibilty.
N- He sent the book himself, so I don’t know if anyone else knows.
M- Still.
N- How did he do it?
M- Mycellium again. They grew inside his body. It’s a very peaceful way to go. The spores make you sleepy, taking all the oxygen. Then they ate into his internal organs.
N- Could it have been an accident?
M- No, you need to feed the spores. And for them to grow, you need to undergo a cleansing. This was a ritual death.
They feel like someone might be watching them. Or it might just be the oppresive feel of the room. They decide to leave.
The second class
She started the lecture like she did the first time. But she wondered about the applause. She didn’t want to let the intrusive thoughts pop in, but perhaps she could be more present to learn about her students. She was going to be doing this for the upcoming months, so perhaps collecting some more data and understanding her students could be beneficial.
She didn’t rely on the override this time. The trusted herself to focus on the concepts and the notes she has studied.
She started noticing something odd…the students were constantly tapping at their desk with their fingers. She carried on.
In the middle of a sentece, 3 students started laughing out of nowhere. She stopped and they shut up. The tapping intensified. Perhaps this was a way in which the younger generation was dealing with stress. After all, they were teenagers undergoing puberty and new to the 10th grade. She was about to remember what it must’ve been like for her, but her training stopped her on the spot. “This could trigger an episode”. She knew by now that reflecting on experienes as old as this, could have some very bad side effects. And she wasn’t going to let her perfect streak end. So she composed herself and carried on.
By the end of the lecture, she thanked her class…and then, frantic tapping on the desks, she started feeling anxious, but then…the clapping began. First one student, then another. The whole class joined in, one stood up, then another. A whole classroom was doing a standing ovation for her and she felt humbled and elated at the same time. She thanked them all with a smile and then noticed a girl in the corner looking irritable.
N- Thank you, thank you. Excuse me, miss. Is there something that didn’t land well?
The girl looked around to make sure she was being addressed. “No, no. 2030s. Chaos and corporations booming. I got it all. No notes.” She said, withdrawing back into her hoodie after she was done. There was more tapping on the desks and snickering. Natalia found this odd.
N- Ok, let me know if you have any questions.
While everyone was leaving, she approached the girl and asked.
N- Is everything ok? I noticed you looked a little…off.
Girl- What?
One of the students shoved past them, quickly saying “sorry, miss prefect”. The girl looked sad.
N- Hey, I mean it.
Girl- Wow, teacher of the year. I can’t believe professor Leon took so long to make way for you.
She pushed past Natalia and left the classroom. There was something she was missing here.
The third class
N- …and then, we defeated the AI god with nothing but human ingenuity and smarts.
She then allowed the mess to rise again and she noticed everyone was looking at her, but not listening to her. The students were tapping at their desks madly now. She started feeling uncomfortable, so she tried to disengage. But before that, she noticed the girl next to the window was completely out of it. She tried to capture her attention.
N- Does anyone know why those years are known as the Years of the Hum?
Complete silence.
N- Over by the window, miss…?
The girl looked scared and panicked. She took a moment to compose herself, looked around and instantly her face went back to being unfriendly.
P- Paloma. And the question was?
She heard snickering and held laughters all around the classroom. Clearly something was going on…
N- “Years of the Hum”. Do you know why they was called that? A clue, perhaps, is to think about the noise you would hear with all that construction going on.
P- I don’t know. Maybe because they were so boring?
N- Excuse me?
P- Who cares what they called it? That was so long ago. Woop, woop. We killed the bad AI. We weren’t even alive back then.
N- But your parents probably were, imagine the raminifactions of–
P- So what? Are you going to lecture us about the ramification of every single event in history? Did you know we could be doing actual things with our time here? Instead of being stuck inside listening to you.
The tapping and the snickering grew. Natalia became upset.
N- Could you stop it with the tapping?? What is going on???
One of the kids raised his hand and looked at Paloma. “Ooh, miss prefect, you better get on with stopping that unruly behavior, no?”. Everyone started laughing, and the added tapping became cacophonous.
Natalia quickly became overwhelmed. She realiez they had always been laughing. The clapping, the standing ovation. They had all been laughing at her…
N- That is enough for today. Class dismissed.
She grabbed her briefcase in one hand and the notes in the other, she walked calmly to the door, and sprinted away as soon as she crossed the frame. She could hear boisterous laughs behind her. The students on the hall joined in as they saw a teacher crying and running away from her class.
She went to the library, but there were too many kids there, so she went to the stairs next to it, where there was nobody. She couldn’t cry anymore, she was just craddling her legs, feeling this terrible wrangling in her stomach. She knew that was probably shame, and the memories of her childhood started flooding in.
Her childhood had never been like that. She grew up with supportive friends. It would be whimsical and fun, never…painful. Her training did not help, other than to stop her from having a full on panic attack. She felt so stupid. A therapist who couldn’t give a lecture to highschool students or even calm down after the fact.
She heard some foosteps coming down the stairs toward her, and she quickly composed herself as best she could. Monty must’ve heard all the ruckus and gone looking for her, but how did he find her?
— I’m sorry…
A smaller body sat down next to her. Her arms folded over her legs.
— I thought it would help me. Maybe if I said what everyone was thinking…
Natalia turned around to find the girl with curly brown hair.
— It would stop them from picking on me.
Natalia wasn’t sure what to make of this girl. Her instinct was to go back to the teacher persona, but she thought of what Monty said. Maybe this was a new opportunity.
N- Why…do they pick on you?
P- I don’t know. They’re probably too lame to know why themselves. But…when you went all monotone into your robot mode, I understood that. You were no longer messy, just delivering fact after fact. I like this guy you were talking about, even if he’s like a hundred years old.
N- Two hundred, actually.
P- Ah, who cares. He was still spitting fire.
N- I guess he was. I’m sorry they pick on you…
P- Paloma.
N- Nice to meet you, I’m Natalia. Have you tried asking them why?
P- Asking them why I’m not normal? Actually, I have and I think that’s part of the problem. Turns out if you ask people how to be normal, they tell you anything but. They’re all lame, though.
N- Perhaps…they know…they just put it all on you. Come. What’s your next class? Actually, let’s do it tomorrow. What’s your first class tomorrow?